SPiRiTUAL GROWTH #5

After I dropped off Roel at worship practice on Thursday evening, I decided to take the backroads back to my house because knowing 101 south, there was heavy traffic. I didn't feel like driving through all of that. As I was driving down Tasman, I had really strong impression to turn on the radio to 88.1 FM. For those of you who don't know what that certain radio station is, it's a Christian station that broadcasts sermons from different pastors. So I turned to that station, and "It's Time" was on. Unfortunately, I don't know the name of the pastor who speaks in this program. I keep forgetting. But I used to listen to his messages frequently when I worked at Southbay Christian Preschool. But he was talking about surrendering your life to God. How we shouldn't worry when we surrender to God and His will for us, like provision for example. How we should always try to continually be right with God. And he said something that really hit me:

"If you say you surrender to God, yet keep living life your way, you're living a double standard life."



Why did that hit me so hard?

And I realized:

I worry too much. I guess I'm like Martha in the Gospels. I worry about things I shouldn't be worried about. Yeah, I don't know what school I should transfer to. I don't know if God wants me to be in full or part time ministry. I don't know where God wants me to serve in the future. I worry about my struggles. I worry about what my family is going through right now. I just WORRY a lot. I realized that I worry so much about the future, the unknown, that I forgot that I should SURRENDER all my worries and concerns to God, and take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Instead of being like Martha and worry so much, I should be like Mary and sit at the feet of Jesus EVERY DAY.
Neglection is also another factor. For the past week, I admit that I have neglected God. It's because I always make up excuses like, "I'm too tired." "It's too late." When I shouldn't be doing that.. Because Jesus never made excuses when He laid down His life for me, for us. So I'll try my best not to make excuses anymore.

Thank You Lord for speaking to me through that message.


"Then Jesus said to His disciples: 'Therefore I tell you, DO NOT worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. But SEEK His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
- Luke 12:22-23, 25, 29, 31, 34

RANDOM THOUGHT #5

I feel like I'm standing in the crossroads of my life right now. Before me, there are more than one paths facing me. Crying out for me. Telling me that I should take this way or that. But which one is the right one for me? More importantly, which one is the one that GOD wants me to take? I don't know.. Sometimes I feel like I'm so sure that I should take this way. Other times, I doubt, and think, is this really it? Or am I just wanting this to be it? My confusion is starting to heavily affect an important area of my life, and I'm running out of time to think. I can't stay in this spot very long. I need to choose soon.. I HAVE to choose soon.

Oh Lord, help me.. Please make Your will for me more clear...


"I pour out my complaints before Him
and tell Him all my troubles.
For I am overwhelmed,
and You alone know the way I should turn..
Then I pray to You, O Lord.
I say, 'You are my place of refuge.
You are all I really want in life.'
Hear my cry,
For I am very low.."
- Psalm 142:2-3,5-6