SPiRiTUAL GROWTH #5

After I dropped off Roel at worship practice on Thursday evening, I decided to take the backroads back to my house because knowing 101 south, there was heavy traffic. I didn't feel like driving through all of that. As I was driving down Tasman, I had really strong impression to turn on the radio to 88.1 FM. For those of you who don't know what that certain radio station is, it's a Christian station that broadcasts sermons from different pastors. So I turned to that station, and "It's Time" was on. Unfortunately, I don't know the name of the pastor who speaks in this program. I keep forgetting. But I used to listen to his messages frequently when I worked at Southbay Christian Preschool. But he was talking about surrendering your life to God. How we shouldn't worry when we surrender to God and His will for us, like provision for example. How we should always try to continually be right with God. And he said something that really hit me:

"If you say you surrender to God, yet keep living life your way, you're living a double standard life."



Why did that hit me so hard?

And I realized:

I worry too much. I guess I'm like Martha in the Gospels. I worry about things I shouldn't be worried about. Yeah, I don't know what school I should transfer to. I don't know if God wants me to be in full or part time ministry. I don't know where God wants me to serve in the future. I worry about my struggles. I worry about what my family is going through right now. I just WORRY a lot. I realized that I worry so much about the future, the unknown, that I forgot that I should SURRENDER all my worries and concerns to God, and take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Instead of being like Martha and worry so much, I should be like Mary and sit at the feet of Jesus EVERY DAY.
Neglection is also another factor. For the past week, I admit that I have neglected God. It's because I always make up excuses like, "I'm too tired." "It's too late." When I shouldn't be doing that.. Because Jesus never made excuses when He laid down His life for me, for us. So I'll try my best not to make excuses anymore.

Thank You Lord for speaking to me through that message.


"Then Jesus said to His disciples: 'Therefore I tell you, DO NOT worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. But SEEK His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
- Luke 12:22-23, 25, 29, 31, 34

RANDOM THOUGHT #5

I feel like I'm standing in the crossroads of my life right now. Before me, there are more than one paths facing me. Crying out for me. Telling me that I should take this way or that. But which one is the right one for me? More importantly, which one is the one that GOD wants me to take? I don't know.. Sometimes I feel like I'm so sure that I should take this way. Other times, I doubt, and think, is this really it? Or am I just wanting this to be it? My confusion is starting to heavily affect an important area of my life, and I'm running out of time to think. I can't stay in this spot very long. I need to choose soon.. I HAVE to choose soon.

Oh Lord, help me.. Please make Your will for me more clear...


"I pour out my complaints before Him
and tell Him all my troubles.
For I am overwhelmed,
and You alone know the way I should turn..
Then I pray to You, O Lord.
I say, 'You are my place of refuge.
You are all I really want in life.'
Hear my cry,
For I am very low.."
- Psalm 142:2-3,5-6

SPiRiTUAL GROWTH #4

God, You know me better than I know myself as it says in Your Word. I hate my struggles Lord.. But everytime I'm struggling, Lord, You always know what to say..

RANDOM THOUGHT #4

SPRING IS HERE! 'Tis the season where:

- My allergies skyrocket to the point where I really do become sick.
- I can't wear eyeliner BECAUSE of my allergies.
- I hardly get any sleep because of how sick I get. I can hardly breathe through my nose anymore.
- I go through a pack of claritin way too often.

But spring is very beautiful, no doubt :) I just wish it was nicer to me.

EASTER IS THIS WEEKEND! The time of year where we remember and celebrate what Christ has done for us. If it wasn't for Him, we wouldn't be alive today. Amen?!?


He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

We are healed by Your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace we are saved
We are saved

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

- By His Wounds by Mac Powell

SPiRiTUAL GROWTH #3

I was supposed to testify about what God has done for me in this certain situation a long time ago, but I was so busy that I didn't have the time too :( So now I have time! Hahaha.


BASS Convention Weekend

So on March 6-7, a couple of people from Praise Christian Church and I went to Castro Valley for the yearly BASS Convention for church workers. The purpose of the convention was to help equip us more in our ministries.
On Friday night, March 6, I came home pretty tired. So, I got ready for bed, and I noticed that my bed was crooked. For those who don't know, I have a small twin-sized bed with small wheels in the bottom so it can move easily. I was really tired, so I decided to straighten my bed with just my right hand. Bad decision! Right when I straightened the bed with my right hand, my hand felt a HUGE jolt of pain and it started throbbing so badly. It was so hard for me to move my hand afterwards.. I thought I sprained it.
The next morning, I woke up, and my hand was still throbbing with pain. I had a hard time getting ready. I couldn't even brush my teeth! My left hand had to assist my right hand.
On the way to Castro Valley, I realized that I didn't sprain my hand. I just had a muscle strain :( Throughout the whole day, my hand kept throbbing and throbbing with pain. It was seriously annoying me..
After the BASS Convention, we all went to Gerry's Grill in Union City. Jessa and I ordered Kare Kare and bbq ribs. The bbq ribs required cutting -_- I thought I was able to easily cut the meat, but no! I couldn't! I sliced once and my hand was hurting again.. So I thought to myself, "That's it! I'm just going to pray over my hand!" So I did. I prayed:

"Lord, these are Your hands not mine. And Lord, I just pray and release Your healing upon my hand. I curse this pain. I rebuke this pain in the name of Jesus. Pain be gone in the name of Jesus!"

And then I squeezed Jon's wrist. I pulled the table. And my hand was pain-free! :) Isn't God gooood?!? Praise be to God!! Thank You Lord for healing my hand :D

Just wanted to share my little miracle. I hope you were blessed by it!

RANDOM THOUGHT #3

I seriously SERIOUSLY think my hormones are going loco right now.. The smallest things tend to irritate me lately. Like drivers nowadays! Seriously! I think people forgot how to drive. Here I am going 70 MPH on the freeway, and a car driving SLOWER than me cuts me off. Wow! If you're going to cut me off, at least go faster! I need to start pressing on my horn now, just so I can let drivers know when they're doing something wrong. I think I'm developing road rage....... Father, please give me the grace I need to be patient with my fellow drivers.
And school. I changed my major yet again because I've decided that I'm going to teach elementary students. So my major is now Liberal Studies. The reason I changed it is because I am too nice, and I fear that if I teach high school, my students will take advantage of me. Ehh.. And one day I'll teach at the college level. One day soon.
I've always wanted to go to this certain Christian college ever since I was in high school. However, it's like 4 hours away, and tuition is like the average $30,000 a year. So of course, my parents scorned upon the idea of me going there when I first presented them that option for my uppergraduate studies. One: because I am the only girl in my family. And two: tuition fees. That was in high school. Two years later, I asked them again if I can go there, and they said I can as long as finances weren't an issue. So I was excited! And so, I'm starting to prepare myself to go there. But since I changed my major, I have to stay at De Anza longer in order to fulfill the pre-requisites.
Work is pretty fun. I kill time talking with Jennifer and Jeanedine. I just feel very blessed and thankful that I still have this job, even in the midst of this recession. God truly is always going to be Jehovah Jired, My Provider.
So to be honest, I haven't been very happy with myself lately. The struggles that I deal with in myself take a really big toll on me. There are times where I was so filled with God's joy. But there are also times where I'm just the opposite. I don't have joy. Mood swings? I don't know.. I think my struggles just overwhelm me sometimes, especially when I stumble.. Oh how I stumble.. That's when I'm not happy with myself. But I know that God is always a forgiving God. I think I just have trouble forgiving myself when I make mistakes..


Oh Lord my God, please keep me close to Your heart. No matter what I'm dealing with or going through, all I long for is intimacy with You still. I know my struggles and circumstances don't change who You are to me and in my life. Please grant me the strength that I need to keep fighting and rising up for You. In Jesus's mighty name, Amen.

RANDOM THOUGHT #2

No one seems to be blogging anymore :(

But jessa got a blogspot! YAY! :D

FELLOWSHiP AT SAN JOSE NEXT MONTH!!

GO GO GO!! It'll be fun!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope everyone had a great new year's :) I shall keep my new year's goals to myself, except for one, which is to always do my personal best in all that I do. I shall blog later!